Teenhood is a complex phase of life in which there are so many physical, emotional, and intellectual changes. The teenager might be coping with a variety of issues at this age. They may have a constant conflict with their parents because they want to assert their independence and be in control of their lives. Some common problems teenagers have with their parents include
- Lack of proper communication: Lack of communication is the most significant issue during this period. Many parents find their teenagers moody, rude, and disagreeing. Parents often tend to intrude on their teenager’s privacy. Teenagers often get upset by such behavior and tend to become more rebellious.
- Contradicting their parents’ beliefs: Teenagers like to contradict their parents’ beliefs because they have their own ideas about how things should be. Often, parents fail to convince their teenagers about their beliefs. Teenagers regularly argue with their parents in this context.
- Giving unnecessary advice: Often, teenagers do not appreciate unnecessary advice from their parents. Every time parents offer advice to the teenager, they inadvertently convey that their children are incapable of solving their own problems. This, in turn, can cause low morale.
- Setting expectations high: As parents, don’t keep too high expectations for the child. They have a lot to deal with, such as societal pressure, peer pressure, and hormonal changes. Do not burden them with unrealistic expectations.
- Exerting more control over their teens: Teens never like to be controlled. They wish to be in control of their own life as much as possible. Micromanaging their life can make them more rebellious. On the contrary, too much freedom can also have a negative impact. There should be a balance between both, and teenagers should understand their limits.
- Constant criticism: Constant criticism can make them feel like failures. Teenagers have a fragile sense of self, which can be easily destroyed by harsh words or criticism.
- Unnecessary comparison: Parents should never compare their teenage children to their peers or siblings. It can make them hostile, damage their emotional health, and cause them to become rebellious.
- Complaining about them: Constant whining, lamenting, and martyring about teenage children to friends or relatives can breed a toxic environment. Children may also start complaining about their parents. It can create a vicious cycle.
What are some positive parenting tips?
As a parent, doing the following things can help the teen during this time:
- Talk with them about drugs, tobacco, and alcohol without being judgmental.
- Help them understand the changes their bodies are going through.
- Talk to them about the dangers of unsafe sex and teenage pregnancy.
- Be ready to address their concerns and problems.
- Involve them in setting household rules and schedules.
- Encourage them to volunteer and get involved in community activities.
- Set rules about media use without being dictating.
- Encourage them to get enough sleep and physical activity.
- Talk about body image and self-worth.
- Encourage them to eat healthy foods and be active.
- Compliment them and celebrate their efforts and accomplishments.
- Respect the teen’s opinions and listen to them without judging them.
- Respect their need for privacy.
- Support their gender identity and love them for it.
- Know how to recognize the signs and symptoms of eating disorders and other mental problems.
- Tell them about the dangers of the internet and teach them about digital safety.
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Valizadeh L, Zamanzadeh V, Rassouli M, Rahkar Farshi M. Concerns of Parents With or Raising Adolescent Children: a Qualitative Study of Iranian Families. J Caring Sci. 2018;7(1):27-33. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5889795/