Referred to as “the green-eyed monster” in Shakespeare’s Othello, jealousy is a well-known emotion. Often the jealousy stems from our self-worth and repressed desires. When someone feels jealous of you, they fear that you may take something that is theirs or you have something they never had. Feeling jealous occasionally is natural as long as it wears off in a few days. Constant jealousy can result in toxic relationships, poor work performance, and even mental illness. Anyone can be jealous of you, your colleague, your neighbor, your friend, and even your partner. Sometimes, dysfunctional families with a mother jealous of her daughters are talked about. There are different kinds of jealousy.
Jealousy in relationships
This kind of jealousy is due to the fear of getting replaced by someone else in a relationship. Signs include:
- Your partner may have trust issues and cannot see you spending time with people of the opposite sex.
- Your partner does not feel comfortable when you mention other people to them.
- Your partner suspects you cheating on them.
- Your partner may call you frequently to check where you are and with whom you are spending time.
- Your partner constantly checks your phone or your social media handles.
- Your partner, friend, or sibling may feel resentment when you do not spend time with them.
- Your sibling feels angry when you take your best friend to a wedding.
- Your partner may give you the silent treatment when you do better than them at work or in academics.
Jealousy at your workplace
This type of jealousy often relates to competition. Signs include:
- Your colleague resents you for being promoted before them.
- Your colleague feels good when you fail in your projects; they celebrate your failures.
- Jealous people will make your hard-earned success seem like a fluke.
Pathological jealousy is also called as:
This kind of jealousy happens in romantic or marital relationships. The spouse considers their better halves to be unfaithful despite having minimal or no evidence to prove infidelity. Their claims of infidelity are often irrational.
How can jealousy affect you?
Feeling jealous sometimes is not harmful. When you are always occupied with the feelings of jealousy, it creates an ill-will for the person for whom you feel so. You may feel stressed and lose your peace of mind for clinging to petty things. In severe cases, it can also impact your mental health and land you in depression.
How to deal with jealousy?
If you feel that your partner is getting jealous, talk to them. Ask what their concerns are. You will know what triggers their jealousy. Clear their doubts. Assure them. Tell them that you love them and that you will never betray them.
If you are feeling jealous about something, practice gratitude. Thinking about the good things in your life and feeling grateful for them helps clear any negative thoughts. Maintain a gratitude journal. Engaging in positive habits, such as gardening, baking, dancing, singing, may help you feel better about yourself.